Adapted from Chapter 10 of How to Say It for Women

Whether online or in print, reading speeds your path to smarts. This section shows you how to master speed and deep reading, developing the skills that count. Based on several decades of research and experience teaching advanced reading skills to adults, my system not only helps improve speed and comprehension, but also leads to clarity in writing and thinking. And when you get the knack of it, it’ll bring you joy.

Let’s start by considering the following question: Why can’t a woman read like a man?

Not that men read better than women do: they read differently. They read instrumentally. Let’s define instrumental reading as reading that serves as a means, a tool of learning to enable one to accomplish whatever she dreams of. Just as you can choose to wear a sequined shirt to the next party but understand that a bathing suit works better in the pool, you can choose Facebook to link up with your pals but you also can choose to read a biography of a woman who does great things in the world. Or set up a reading group to talk about articles or books that promise to help shape your life and work. Or ask for a gift subscription to an informative magazine like Aviation Week or The Atlantic.

Let’s adapt the quotation, “All books are either dreams or swords. You can cut or you can drug with words,” to say that we women read to dream but we must also read to cut, a style that involves not only what but how you read.

This simple rule changes your attitude and your life: never start a sentence with “I” unless talking about yourself. Use “I” sparingly, only for the few times you mean to talk about yourself.

“I” statements drain your power by:

1. Making you look childlike and immature
   Think about how we grow from baby to adult: the baby understands only what it knows, needs, feels. As we grow, we gradually move to see that we’re not the center of the universe. The sign of adulthood is the ability to look at life without constantly talking about ourselves: to talk about an issue or an idea in its own right, not only how it links to us. I have an old friend who always brings every conversation back to herself or her family – people don’t think she’s very smart (although she really is both smart and able). So it’s not enough to be smart – talk smart too.
2. Blaming yourself for problems
   “I didn’t have time for…” makes you look slow or disorganized while “The schedule didn’t allow…” reveals the real issue.
3. Suggesting uncertainty
   “I think it’s noon” versus “It’s noon.” Worse: “I’m not really sure about and this is probably stupid but I think it’s noon.”
4. Making disagreements personal
   “I’m right about this” starts an argument, not a conversation
5. Encouraging “touchy feely” language
   “I feel good about this party” versus “This party will be lots of fun”

   An Easy Cure for the “I” Plague

The “I” word can be difficult to avoid, but there’s an easy solution. Ask yourself these questions before you talk:

1. What are you NOT talking about? Yourself, silly.
2. What are you talking about? Now you have the subject of your sentence.
3. What does it do? Try to pick an action verb – see the transformation below.
4. Finish the sentence. So instead of saying “I love that dress,” try “That dress looks great on you!” You see what this simple change did? It made your sentence more interesting (especially to the wearer of the dress) and it made the sentence precise.

In class, in writing and at work, sentences that begin with their actual subjects make you look smart, cut the word count, and discourage interruptions. And remember: it’s not about you!